People I Hate: An Ongoing Series

Something I’ve noticed: people moan more and more these days about historic sights or natural wonders being disappointing when they see them for real. The Pyramids gets this a lot. The only comment many people can make of their visit to these wonders of the ancient world is, “They’re a lot smaller than I expected”. That’s it. No marvelling at their still-unexplained mysteries of construction. No reflection on their incredible history. No pondering of the lives and beliefs of the Pharoahs. Just “they’re a lot smaller than I expected”. And perhaps some secondary moaning about the amount of hawkers. And the heat. And the crowds of other gawking tourists.

You can encounter these people in droves at Angkor Wat, the spectacular ancient temple complex in Cambodia, more recently used as the backdrop for the first Lara Croft movie. They’re known as Angkor Wankers. They can be spotted milling around outside whining about the $25 entrance fee, seriously debating whether they should simply content themselves with the distant view of the temples from the road despite the fact they’ve paid hundreds of dollars to travel the length of Cambodia specifically to get there. (I do actually know of one couple who did precisely that. It’s the sort of revelation that can be only met with open-mouthed awe at such breathtaking stupidity). Or, once inside the temple complex, they can be seen wandering aimlessly from ancient ruin to ancient ruin, wondering why there’s no McDonald’s. Or Lara Croft merchandising stand. They usually manage two hours and then leave, thoroughly bored.

Fuck’s sake, why do people bother? If all you want is visual spectacle, go to the movies. Or Vegas. I can’t understand the mentality of spending all that money and effort to go and see something in which they have absolutely no intrinsic interest. It’s like they just do it because that’s the thing you do, rather than thinking about why they’re doing it. And there’s a bizarre sense of entitlement that goes hand in hand with this attitude. “I’ve paid my money so impress me”. With absolutely no consideration or pre-investigation of the culture or history or even the geography of where they’re going.

It’s like the silly cunts who turn up in Alice Springs expecting Ayers Rock to be next door when it’s actually a six hour drive away. And then start whining about how their own ignorance has betrayed them. A 30 second consultation of even the brashest tourist information would avoid situations like this. There’s a difference between not knowing anything about a country before you go there and somehow expecting its geography to miraculously rearrange itself to your preconceptions. People wonder why tourists get preyed upon by petty criminals – it’s because they’re so fucking stupid.